He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
