he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
