I will die if light touches me.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
