That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She announced her abortion via fbk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
