Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
