PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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