I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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