I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
