i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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