four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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