He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
