i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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