Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
