i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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