I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My life is pants optional.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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