PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
