i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Small penises have feelings too.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
