WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
