Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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