I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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