i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
