He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize
