As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
