she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
