just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
