I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
