I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
