think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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