You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
