I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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