the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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