yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
