Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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