How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
