piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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