Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
