I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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