What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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