Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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