Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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