Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
