I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
