When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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