Having a random hookup so left but love u
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
