Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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