My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
