We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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