In the future we'll all be gay
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
