I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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