I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
