Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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