So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
