Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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