My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
