covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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