I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize