It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
