dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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