U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was like eating out sand paper
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
