Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You ruined the universe
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