Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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