U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
