oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
