We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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