I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
