We're like a lot better than the average bears
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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