i think i have herpe
just one?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
