Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
