I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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