super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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