haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I want her autograph on my taint
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
