Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
