those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
