I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
