Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
