Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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