I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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