She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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