I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
