did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
