party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
