Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Blood and glitter go together right?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
