The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
